For those of us who are fortunate enough to simply be watching a crisis unfold rather than being the ones directly impacted by it.
Anyone who has been paying attention to the horrors unfolding in Palestine over the last 10 months or so (on top of the 75+ years before that) will likely have struggled at some point or another along the way. From seeing the ignorant & hateful Zionist rhetoric to the dismissive language used by politicians we were previously lead to believe were progressive and empathetic, through to the frustrating obliviousness of our friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances.
It is hard not to feel like you are losing your mind. Particularly when you see that even the biased media reporting has dwindled to the point that even the recent Lancet Journal conservatively estimating a more realistic death toll from Gaza being closer to 190,000 than the circa 40,000 previously reported fails to make an impact on the news, and as a result, the general population.
Applying a conservative estimate of four indirect deaths per one direct death to the 37 396 deaths reported, it is not implausible to estimate that up to 186 000 or even more deaths could be attributable to the current conflict in Gaza. Using the 2022 Gaza Strip population estimate of 2 375 259, this would translate to 7·9% of the total population in the Gaza Strip.
Source: Counting the dead in Gaza: difficult but essential, Khatic & McKee, July 2024
To paraphrase my friend Christina, aka The Banshee Cork, human beings cannot have the most humane reaction without all of the relevant information. Similarly, I remember reading in Ibram X. Kendi’s ‘How to be an anti-racist‘ how slavery only ended in America when enough people knew about the reality of the horror being inflicted on enslaved people. We need more information so that we can do better and be better human beings. In the absence of that duty of care being respected and observed by the majority of news outlets or elected representatives, it makes sense that those of us with empathy, compassion and wider awareness would struggle with watching an ongoing crisis of this magnitude.
So how do we cope with it? How do we continue to survive let alone thrive in these conditions?
For some people, the answer is to turn away. “It’s too much”. “I can’t watch”. “I have to step away.” Breaks are understandable, but ignoring an issue only allows it to continue, so choosing this path may bring temporary relief, but at what cost to our soul, to our collective humanity?!
If you are here, I can only assume you are doing your best to keep looking, to keep watching and keep going, against all the odds and horrors we are collectively attempting to face. But it must be sustainable – we must take care of ourselves and each other – I am still figuring this out for myself, but this is what I have learned so far:
1. You cannot cope with a crisis by yourself – seek comfort & support through solidarity & community
Joining the Cork Palestine Solidarity Campaign protests in Cork helped me to not feel so alone – it felt so good to be surrounded by other people who cared, other people who were refusing to look the other way, who had the strength and courage to show up for ourselves as well as the people of Palestine.
Creating the Kinsale for Palestine community helped me to feel less out of my place in my new adopted home – it was such a relief to know there were others in my town who cared in the way I did and wanted to do something, anything, to make a difference.
Find a group of people near you – look for them online or ask someone you know who has attended a meeting, event, rally or demonstration. Find or create your own community.
2. You cannot SOLVE a crisis by yourself – share the burden with other people in your community
If only we could change the world by ourselves – for any of us recovering high-performing, overachieving types that would be the dream! But unfortunately that is not the solution. There is no point in one of us being the perfect activist if we leave everyone else behind. And there is no way that one individual can bear that burden by themselves – you need to share the load and let others carry it with you.
I went from attending the rallies in Cork, to volunteering, to joining the committee, all while trying to build the Kinsale for Palestine group too, but I eventually had to take a step back from the latter, to reduce the pressure on our weekly events and share out the recurring admin tasks to help keep the community going. To repeat the often-quoted ‘Parable of the Choir’, we can only keep our activism going if we have a group that lets us drop out to breathe when needed.
3. Take Breaks When You Need Them – Or Even BEFORE You Need Them
I hate to admit it but my husband is often right, and he regularly encourages me to step away from my phone / social media to take a break from the ‘doomscrolling’. When he first suggested it I heard it as a request for me to ignore the heartbreaking events unfolding, but now I realise he was suggesting it out of compassion and out of concern for the sustainability of my approach.
As I have written about before, the cost of stress on the body is far higher than we realise – physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically – we cannot exist in a perpetual state of heartbreak and horror. We can stand with the Palestinian people, or anyone else being subjected to this inhumanity, while still taking a breath where we can so that we can all maintain the momentum towards our collective liberation.
It’s important that we notice the signs for ourselves – notice the increased agitation, irritability or poor-health, pay attention so you see the red flags before you burnout completely.
4. Draw On The Resources Available To You
This could be the people in your life – your partner, friends, family or colleagues – even if they cannot fully understand or empathise with what you are going through, asking them for understanding in other ways can help to reduce any real or perceived pressure on yourself.
It could be the many tools or techniques at your disposal – from movement to mindfulness and everything in between. Some people need yoga, journalling and meditation, others need running, socialising and other forms of active energisation. Think about what helps you to feel better, and try to do more of that!
Whenever I am faced with feeling overwhelmed by any given situation, before I even consider giving up, I use Sarah Weiler’s Quitting Quadrant to help me see where I have become unbalanced. Without making a conscious effort to balance ourselves, we can easily become overly-focused on one area of our lives, which leaves us vulnerable to apathy or burnout or both!
5. Ask For Help
If you’re struggling and overwhelmed and you’re not even sure what help you need – don’t worry about knowing the answers – just ask the question, and let other people figure out how they can help you. Name the problem and let others help you solve it.
I recently posted a ‘cry for help’ on Instagram that was not only well-received (and sadly resonated with a lot of people in similar situations), it also helped me to get clear on what exactly help needed to look like for me – it wasn’t any one thing or something that any one person could resolve, but by naming it I created space to speak about it and unravel it with other people.
I shared a follow up to my request, partly to reassure anyone who had been concerned, but also in the hopes it would inspire other people to do the same. So I will leave you with that invitation, to take a little leap of faith and ask for help if you think you need it – it doesn’t have to be on social media or to a large group of people – just find someone you trust, and share it with them. No one can handle all of this alone, so we shouldn’t even try – as the old rally cry goes – “the people united will never be defeated.”
Siobhán Kangataran 